It's too quiet here

Leaving Singapore for Perth after my summer break always has the same undesired effect on me... I immediately wish, if only I hadn't been so bad-tempered and impatient at home. The same regret repeats time after time, and it escalates the more aware I am of it. Sigh. I make all sorts of resolutions before returning home, only to find it next to impossible to keep them. I've been back for a day now, and the regret is still lingering.

School is starting tomorrow. It took me a whole night and a day to get my room nice and clean again, but I know that it won't be long before things fall into disarray again. I just realised, it is so disturbingly quiet here, and I space out occasionally as a result. Yet, when I turn on my music to ease the stillness, it becomes too noisy to focus or concentrate on anything at all. I feel the "life of solitude" returning. But I'm trying my best to see the potential in having all this quiet time to myself... given the ideal opportunity to meditate.