February moods

Summer holidays flew by in a flash. After celebrating my birthday with my family tomorrow, I will be leaving Singapore for Perth to embark on my third year of school. I just met up and parted with my closest friends in Singapore today. If life is going to be a continuous stream of hellos and goodbyes, I imagine my heart to have minor scarring and bruises all over its surface. My friend Kelvin sent me a poem which told of the beauty of a scarred heart as compared to one that is unblemished. Wisely speaking, it is better to have loved and been hurt, than to have locked your emotions away safely and to have never given your heart freely to people dear to you.

However, isn't it simply a natural instinct to call upon self-preservation when one does not know if prior wounds have healed? Once bitten, twice shy. It's no wonder that with each relationship, one's expectations and reservations increase. But how would one differentiate between a wise decision not to plunge into commitment and a mere mechanism to cope with fear of hurt?

I think, I feel, I fear. The romantic moods of February must be getting to me.