struck by the blues

i'm so glad that my tests are over. Now is the time to take a short break and then start catching up on all the lectures so that I won't feel as bad for the finals as compared to those tests that just took place! I think I did terribly for the tests, possibly because I was sick, but then I thought it was also because I just didn't feel like memorizing much, and so I drew up a big blank when it came to the test paper.... and horrors of horrors, the lecturer Jim Cummins came up to a group of us yesterday and I had my back to him at first... couldn't bear to turn around cuz i know he had marked our papers??!?!? and then he poked me ( ?!OW) and i sheepishly turned around and apologized for doing crap for the paper ( why on earth did i apologize? ) It was really embarassing... the test section he was marking was on the reproductive topic. For a particular question, I wanted to write on the mesenteries holding up the male reproductive tract and so, I was going to draw the male external and internal genitalia... and after drawing a horrible looking external outline... i realised that i didn't know how to draw the internal stuff after all... and the outline looked pretty ugly as well, and i guess the logical side of me just felt silly for drawing something as inappropriate as that, which doesn't answer the question Anyway. so I kinda scribbled the drawing out, but what i really felt like doing was to tear that piece of paper out =P

Where is motivation when i needed it most?